Life reports

From Edith Hauser - Miscarriage  


56 years old, has been married for 38 years     ·         2 daughters, 3 grandkids, a 4th one is on the way   ·         Founded the association “Lichtblick Bad Reichenhall e.V.” to help people in need, e.g. by offering counseling to children, youth, and adults  ·         Facilitates SaveOne classes in Bad Reichenhall (Bavaria, Germany)  ·         Has been an active member of the evangelical church in Bad Reichenhall for 26 years ·         Active member of the FFW Bad Reichenhall

 "At the age of 18 I got married against my parents’ wishes. Two years later we had our first planned child, a daughter. I had always wanted to be a young mom and was beyond happy about our little girl. Our marriage was not in a good place, however, as my husband just was not yet ready for a life with a wife and a child. Still, it was important to me that my little girl would not lose her dad and so I tried to keep our little family together.

One and a half years later I became pregnant again. At least so I thought!......"

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From Lisa (28 years)

To future Course Participants!

I would have never imagined, dreamt or wished.

Paralyzed by desperation and shame, the emptiness was so excavating and present, the pain so indescribably crushing, the fear so breath-taking. Fear of every second and minute of the present, of every hour and every day of the future. The abortion tore something apart in me which I did not realize immediately. Staggering in shock, for a time of my life functioning outwardly. But it was there, this invisible wall between me and reality. The sense of me and my body was gone, giving way to a deep inner emptiness.

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From Marie, (69 years) 


I have always wanted a family. At the age of 19, though, after graduating from a monastery school, I had the feeling that I had to enjoy life first. During my time at the monastery school where I was trained in housekeeping and handcrafting I had not had much contact to the outer world.

The desire within me for love that I had not received enough of, neither through my dad nor at the monastery, made me go my own ways. Still I was scared of committed relationships.

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By Jacqueline (20 years)

My name is Jaqueline, I am 20 years old and I was 17 when I had the abortion. Back then I was alone with my decision and I didn’t see any other way then deciding for the abortion.
After the abortion I felt empty and abandoned. When I arrived at home, I looked at myself in the mirror, the same mirror where I had seen myself in as a pregnant woman, but now I only felt soulless. That was the beginning of the end. From that day on I only had nightmares and my depression got worse. I had no one to talk to and no one who could somehow understand me. I tried everything to take my life but because of fear for my little brother I didn’t have the heart to follow it through.

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From Christine (70 years)

Although when I was 15 years old I really wanted children, I aborted my third child as I was pregnant again directly after the birth of my second.

I was undergoing a demanding breast operation after finishing breast feeding my daughter and could not see how I could cope with caring for yet another small child.

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By Sigrid:

I had my first abortion in 1989 and since then, despite repeated psychotherapy, I suffered from feelings of guilt, especially at end fo Janurary being the anniversary of that first abortion.

In 2009 however, fully 20 years later the consequences were again extreme. I had massive bleeding, panic attacks and bouts of compulsive eating.

Straight away I went to the Katholische Familienwerk (a catholic family therapy centre) for treatment which helped me a lot.
However, because my guilt feelings were still so strong my counselor felt that I really needed a "Pastor" to help me work through and deal with them.

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By Svatka:

"What...pregnant again! Oh no, it can`t be true, what will I do now?"
Although married, I am living in a foreign Islamic country, with no family other than my husband and our two young children! Also, I have to work...one salary is not enough to live on in my husband`s home country...I will never cope with it all; I must find a swift solution and quickly!

Thankfully, my best friend confirmend my belief that the situation was truly imppossible. She gave me an address to go to solve the problem, as she had already experienced the same thing herself. There is no alternative; the main thing is that it must happen quickly! My husband said only: "Do what you want, it is your decision!"

I don`t want to hear any details about the intervention, as then I don`t have to think about it: the nice gynecologist is very understanding and competent, everything runs quickly and smoothly.
Then it`s over, life goes on: profession, children, husband, household...everything seems to be nicely back in order.

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By Timothy Hall:

"I don`t love you enough to have your children." that was the only explanation I received from my girlfriend, who would have been the mother of my child.

In a ten minute conversation on the phone, I heard from the woman I thought I was going to marry, that I had been a father for two or three months. I had no idea that she was pregnant.

For several months, I was depressed. I did not want to attend my university classes, I didn`t eat, and I started a four year addiction to pornography.

I didn`t stop going to church and believing in God during this time. I felt like a hypocrite, and that made the feelings that much worse. During those years of pain, guilt and shame, it never occurred to me that maybe it was because I needed an inner healing. I thought I was "over it".

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By Kathrin (22 years)

By the age of 12 I was heavily drug addicted and for two years sniffed, injected and smoked my way through the complete repertoire that the Austrian drug scene had to offer. I also had my first pregnancy and abortion.

As a result I had to later fight with serious mental health problems for six years culminating in regular suicide attempts and hospital confinements. At 14, I aborted for a second time and began to suppress everything and hide behind a mask. My feelings cooled; although not related to the abortion.

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